I mentioned my friend, Joe, a few posts back, and asked for prayers for him.

I saw him tonight. Apparently, whatever it was worked out well. I told him that I had asked you all to pray for him. He wanted me to relay his thanks to the group. He said that had to be what worked things out for him.

I still don't know what the situation was, but it, apparently, turned out well.

Thanks, from Joe and I, both.

The following picture features a lot of people that, frankly, I don't know. It is of members of the 24th Infantry Division Band (which has since been inactivated, with the rest of the 24th Infantry Division) during Desert Storm/Shield.

The tall, dark haired guy in the flak vest near the center. The one that kind of looks like Dennis the Menace's father. He was the commander of that band, at the time. He was also my commander at Fort Bliss. He is the one conducting the band in my previous post.

In my opinion, he was the best commander that I have ever had, and I still consider him a friend.

As you can tell by my previous posts, I have been going through the stuff at TMBC and the associated Yahoo group.

This is a little something I found there. It is a picture of the 62d Army Band doing a change of command at Fort Polk, Louisiana, in 1994. The unit we were playing for was the 100th Air Defense Artillery Brigade. I say "we" because I was in that band at the time, and I was on that trip.

Now, if I could just remember what instrument I played on that performance! I think I am one of the trombone players in the front row, but don't hold me to that. I could be in that back on euph, or, maybe, tuba.

This is a bass drummer's perspective on the anthem.

(For those of you that have never done it, the " 1 2 3 2 2 3 ...etc" is counting music going by. The National Anthem is in 3 beats to the measure, and the drummer is counting measures until he plays again.)

Everything you ever wanted to know about the Premier military bands ... with some info from Ted about the rest of us.

TMBC is Ted's Military Banc Center. A place on the internet for past and present military bandsmen. It is open to all, but tends to have a high concentration of US Army bandsmen there.

No wonder, Ted is a former US Army Bandsmen. He served at Fort Bliss shortly after I left there. He and I have met once. We know a lot of the same people.

To include the "Bob" that he refernces at the top of this article.

This is a copy of a news article from Germany that is archived on a site about military bands.

I thought you might find it amusing.

(Another email gem from my Dad)
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS ......= Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS ......= Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE ................= Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED ....= Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY ..........= Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY .................= Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY ......= Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER .............= Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING ..................= Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER ................= Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE .....................= Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS ...= Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL ......= Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL .= A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES ........= Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT ...= Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR ............= Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED ..................= Back Stabber
LOYAL ..........................= Can't get a job anywhere else

In fact, I wrote a high school term paper on the subject in 1982.

The sources were there.

The facts that the 9/11 commission found were available to a student at a podunk high school in Missouri over 20 years ago.

The only "surprise" of the 9/11 commission is that the government's experts were surprised by what they found.

THE LARK PROGRAM
A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan/Iraq war.

Attached is a copy of a letter they received back:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The White House; 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; Washington, D.C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen:
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care.

Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections, in conjunction with the Red Cross, to ensure that your care for Ahmed is commensurate with international standards and those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is sociopathic, extremely violent, and was trying to kill at least 20 women and children as we captured him, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. I might add that he will bite you, or worse, given the chance. However, perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.

We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We do not suggest that you ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him, and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that Ahmed will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka - over time. Just remind them that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" . .. . wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you, who know so much, keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.You take good care of Ahmed. And remember . . . we'll be watching.

Good Luck!
Cordially,
Pres. George W. Bush
CC: Donald Rumsfeld

Other intreresting versions at: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=THE+LARK+PROGRAM+&btnG=Google+Search

(My wife came up with this list.)

- take life as it comes

- if you can't do it one way... oh, well, another will work

- take time to Power Nap - you never know when you might need the energy to look cute and pitiful

- take on the big guys - you just have more equipment than them

- take all the awww and ummmms and pity you can find - if someone thinks you are weaker, it only makes you stronger and able to show them What For - and anyway... you know better.

this on site for owners of disabled dogs:

I saw on an internet news site this morning that some towns in Texas just had a white Christmas for the first time in 86 years.

And I thought, well, that's appropriate: first the Red Sox win the World Series, and then hell freezes over.

(Got this self-help hint in email. Thought I would pass it along.)

I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show,I have finally found inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of Ben and Jerry's double chocolate almond butterscotch ice cream, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.

(a little email I received lately)

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".

"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge !!

Howdy folks,

Got a quick request for you. I have this friend here, Joe. He's having a rough time at the moment. I don't know the details. He just asked for prayers. I told him that I would call in the help that I have had here. So, if you do and would, add my friend Joe to your prayer list.

On another note, by this time next month, I hope to be in Germany. The current plan calls for that. But you know how things are in a war zone. The enemy doesn't tend to cooperate with your plans. We will see how things go.

Juries don't always seem to make sense.

A man found himself in front of a judge on two matters.

In the first, the man's wife was trying to get a divorce because he was impotent. In the second, his secretary was suing him for getting her pregnant.

The case went to the jury and the man lost both cases!

1) The Woman makes all the rules.

2) The Rules are subject to change, at any time, without prior notification.

3) The Man may never know more than 55% of the rules, at one time.

4) If the Woman suspects that the man knows more than 55% of the rules at any given time, she MUST change some or all of the rules.

5) The Woman is NEVER wrong.

6) If the woman is wrong, it is because of a FLAGRANT misunderstanding that was a direct result of something the man said or did wrong.

7) If rule 6 applies, the man MUST apologize, immediately, for causing the misunderstanding.

8) The Woman can change her mind at any point in time.

9) The Man may change his mind only with the express written consent of the woman.

10) The Woman has every right to be angry or upset.

11) The Man MUST remain calm at all times.

12) The Woman may NEVER tell the man when she wants him to feel upset or angry.

13) (Female Excuse Clause) If the Woman has PMS, all rules are temporarily suspended.

(another old echomail gem)

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

(I found this little gem in a collection of stuff I accumulated from my days of reading and posting on the several BBS echomail systems. Thought you might enjoy it. ... I would have posted it earlier, but ...)

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done
already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the
amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new
technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of
the amount of time given.

7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.

8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to
change my mind.

10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or
write the first word, when I get around to it.

11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the
task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done
prior to beginning the greater task.

12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is
wait/plan/plan.

13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about
forever.

14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles
(the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.

Howdy.

I know it's been a while since I've posted. Sorry about that. Things have been a bit hectic around here. It's not that things have really been any different around here, in terms of the general situation, or the specific situation at work. The division is getting ready to get out of here. So, they are starting to cut back on the number of people we are given to accomplish what we need. I've heard the saying "Less is more.", but, sometimes, less is just … less.

Someone has to pick up the slack, and, lately, it has been my boss and me that have been doing it. I've been coming in earlier and getting done later. Where the night shift used to have a total of 5 people, counting myself, now there is 3, total. To make things worse, the original tasking called for 6 people to be on the nightshift. It was supposed to be 3 cooks running the kitchen, two people in our Sports Bar, and me supervising the bunch. Well, most of the time I have been here, it has been 3 cooks, one person in the Sports Bar with me covering in the Sports Bar, and supervising. Now, it's two cooks and me. The amount of work that has to get done has not changed at all. It's been fun.

It hasn't all been elbows and … rear ends, though. Heard an amusing story the other day that I will share with you.

There is this guy here. He has worked at the MWR as part of our rotating detail on a fairly regular basis. I know him pretty well. We will call him S. Young kid, about 20. He is not in my unit.

S injured his lower back a few days ago. Nothing serious. Just some discomfort. Take it easy for a few days, and he will be fine. He, also, is pulling the night shift at his unit. Given his discomfort, and the close quarters he has to live in, getting to sleep at night has been a challenge.

A couple of nights ago, a friend of his, knowing that he was in pain, and having problems getting to sleep, offered him a "muscle relaxer". Actually, just half of one. Just enough medication to take his mind off his back and help him get a good night's (day, actually) sleep. S jumped on it, and quickly took the little blue half-pill. S went to bed, and tried to get to sleep as the medication kicked in.

S had drifted off to sleep. He was awoken about half an hour after he laid down. S quickly realized that the medication he had been given was not, in fact, a muscle relaxer. It was half of a Viagra pill. The poor boy was "at the position of attention" for the next 5 hours. Nothing he tried changed his condition. Didn't get a wink of sleep in that time. But, apparently, it was enough to take his mind off of his sore back.

I guess this proves that, no matter what they call marijuana, LSD, coke, etc., Viagra is the only true "recreational" drug.

Well, it's getting to the end of my long day. I'm going to post a few things I found hiding in the deep dark corners of my hard drive, and follow the example of my wife's dog.