Over the years, it has been my privilege to learn certain things about human nature.

The thing I am about to describe is something I learned in my mid-20's. I identified with this truth, initially, because, in hindsight, I saw it in myself. Everything I have experienced since then has confirmed it. Both in my behavior, and in the behavior of others.

Recently, thanks to several different things happening around me, I have been reminded of these truths.

What is this deep understanding of humankind that I am going on about?

First, there is a "time lag" between something happening, and a cognitive, or reasoned, response to it. In that interval, instinct, genetics, training, etc. ... in other words, the subconscious, responds first to cover this "time lag".

Secondly, it has to do with "inner truth", or "self-image", and accusations or "name-calling".

Think back for a moment to any ... every ... time that you have been accused of being something, or doing something negative. Let's broaden the "search parameters" ... any time you have witnessed someone else accused of being/doing something negative. Think about the reactions that have taken place, whether in your own head and heart, or you have seen in others during the "time lag" that I have described.

I have learned that there are two basic human reactions to this type of incident:
a) anger
b) humor ... sometimes, even, laughter

The "anger" response occurs when one is confronted with an accusation that somehow is part of your "subconscious" "self-image".

What does that mean?

On some level, you believe that the accusation being made is true. It might be an incorrect notion held in the deepest, darkest recesses of your soul. Something that your subconscious hopes is not true, but holds the fear that it might ... but, it is still there. On the other hand, it might be something that, even in your conscious mind, you know without a doubt to be true. ... and anywhere in between ... but you hoped others would not find out about.

The "humor" response is the opposite.

Whatever you are being accused of is in no way, shape or form, part of who you think you are, no matter how deep your head or heart digs. So, the only reasonable emotional response is humor.

Let me cite some instances from my life:

In 2001, I was tasked to attend a 2 week school about Equal Employment Opportunity. It covered a wide range of things. Most of these were tied up around the concept of discrimination. We, also, were taught, in terms of Federal Law, the Big Five: national origin, skin color, gender, religion, ethnic identity. These are the things it is illegal to discriminate against.

So, given what I have just said, is all "discrimination" illegal ... or even "bad"?

Save that answer for a moment. Can you tell the difference between a pencil and a pen? Do you choose one or the other writing implement for whatever reason in different circumstances?

If you answered "yes" to either or both of those questions, then, by definition, you discriminate. So, are you "bad" or a criminal for doing so? ... No. You are capable of "Sesame Street" ... you know ... "One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong ..."

On the other hand, during this course, an instructor, an African-American, as part of an exercise, got in my face and called me "cracker", "racist", and "bigot".

I laughed. No, that's not true, ... I guffawed in his face like he was the best stand-up comic I had ever heard, before I had a chance to think about what I was doing. I had interrupted his monologue. While I was laughing in his face, he asked me, "How does that make you feel?"

He didn't know what to do. He got out of my face and looked at me like I was a space alien. He just stood there.

My only answer was, "Sergeant (he outranked me), I know that none of those things are true."

He was stumped. Here I was, sitting in his class, fulfilling all the prerequisites for being the most blatant redneck present ... and when accused of it, I laughed. I couldn't help it.

He had to make his point elsewhere.

As for the "anger" point ... do I really have to make it? Or do you think you have that one figured out?

Lately, all of my posts have been fairly serious. I've decided to post something a bit lighter in nature.

Teriyaki restaurants are pretty popular around here. Most are "mom and pop" establishments. They tend to have names that, obviously, are literal, "word for word" translations of oriental names. (In the phrase, the best possible English word is substituted for an oriental word. ... The downside is that sometimes the meaning of the phrase is obscured by the choice of words.)

Let me illustrate what I mean: Asahi beer is, to the Japanese, what Bud or Miller Genuine Draft is to our culture. In the early '90s, I had found a restaurant in El Paso, TX that had fairly close ties to Japan. The labels on their Asahi were some of the first types exported to the US. The slogan under the trademark symbol was, according to the hostess, a literal, "word for word" translation. The slogan was: "Real beer for live people". Which, of course, knowing me, launched an entire discourse that started with the question: "Does this mean that there is fake beer for dead people?"

So, back to my recent past, here in the Pacific Northwest: My nephew, Brandon, has spent a considerable amount of time with my wife and I, recently. While driving around, looking at the places we see, several conversations have been sparked by the names of the local Teriyaki restaurants. The one that sparked the most conversation was called: "Happy Teriyaki". Given my experience with Asahi beer, you can imagine what path those conversations took. ("Does this mean there is a 'Sad Teriyaki' nearby?" ... "How about a 'So-so Teriyaki'?" ... etc.)

This all led to me sharing some observations I made while I was stationed at Fort Sill, OK, right outside of Lawton, OK. ...

Lawton and Fort Sill, both, have obvious feral cat populations. So much so that I was part of a conversation with the Garrison Commander of Fort Sill (the guy that is in charge of the administration of the post ... everything from building maintenance, to running the museums, to trash pickup, etc.) about how most of his hours at work, at the time, were spent dealing with problems caused by the large feral cat population on post.

Lawton, also, has several all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets. There was one that was the largest (in terms of food selection), the best (in terms of food quality), and the best price. We ate there on a regular basis. It was nice.

It was interesting, though. There were large, open fields near the restaurant, and a couple of housing subdivisions. I never noticed any feral cats in the fields. AND, when I asked people that I knew that lived there, I found that the area around the restaurant did not seem to suffer from the feral cat infestation that most of the rest of the Lawton/Fort Sill area suffered.

About this same time, I noticed that what were labeled "Chicken Wings" on the buffet seemed awful small for normal chickens.

I'm not saying ... well, anything, ... However, you put 2 and 2 together often enough, and even the dumbest redneck will, eventually, get 4.

So, after relating this to my nephew, he started the entire "feral cat" discussion EVERY time we drove by a Chinese buffet. This went on ... and on ... (and on, and on ... you get the idea).

Then, we drove by a place called "Toto Teriyaki".

(There's no place like home. ... There's no place like home. ...)