Saturday, March 27, 2010
Odd little story ...
Today, thanks to some things that I will relate later, I was reminded of an odd little, off-color, humorous thing that happened at work, in 2008.
The men's bathroom, in my place of work, is one of the few rooms in the entire building that does not have, at least, one outside wall as one of it's walls. Therefore, it is completely dependent upon the exhaust fan in the ceiling to deal with any noxious fumes that might be a side-effect of that room's purpose. (Wasn't that rather diplomatically stated?)
Sometime in 2008, that exhaust fan failed.
A kind soul at work ... or, maybe, he had some kind of sense of "self-defense" ... anyway, he brought in a can of aerosol air freshener. He, also, put a sign, encouraging others to use the air freshener, right above where the can was placed.
However, his choice of verbage, and syntax was not quite up to the task, with some humorous results.
First, the sign contained the word "poop".
While the word is not vulgar, there is more adult verbage for the same action. If something more adult had been used, then, maybe, the juvenile reactions that resulted from the sign, would not have happened.
Secondly, "If - then" statements are an accepted part of the American version of English. The second sentence in the above paragraph is one. These types of sentences are such a part of our culture, that often the "then" can be left off, and the reader, or listener will, still, have perfect understanding of what is being communicated. The ONE thing that must occur, either written, or implied by a verbal pause, is a comma between the "IF" portion, and the "Then" portion.
My well-meaning co-worker left out the "then" ... and the comma.
So, there was this piece of cardboard, mounted on the wall with tape, in an "odiferous"(to quote Sir Charles Barkley) bathroom, with writing, in black Sharpie, that read:
"If you poop spray."
You can imagine the discussions that this sign inspired.
Some of you know that the oldest of my three dachshunds, Tasselhof, or Tas (pronounce "Tass") had a devastating back injury in 2003. He was in a "doggy-wheel chair", full time, for about 2 years. Things are better, now. The little, old fart is over 14 years now, and my wife and I like to say he is full of "piss and vinegar". (He is curled up, next to me, on the couch, as I write this.)
While the back legs work, sort of, now, the bladder and bowel control has not returned.
Which leads us to today's unfortunate happening.
Something upset Tas' stomach today.
As I put it to Amy, on the phone, Tas had "cross-country diarrhea", today. It started in the middle of the kitchen, through the office area, the den, and into the guest bathroom. Nothing was solid.
It was while I was in the middle of cleaning up the mess (Resolve is my friend), that I realized, with or without the comma, I was dealing with the TRUE results of the words on the sign:
"If you poop spray."
The men's bathroom, in my place of work, is one of the few rooms in the entire building that does not have, at least, one outside wall as one of it's walls. Therefore, it is completely dependent upon the exhaust fan in the ceiling to deal with any noxious fumes that might be a side-effect of that room's purpose. (Wasn't that rather diplomatically stated?)
Sometime in 2008, that exhaust fan failed.
A kind soul at work ... or, maybe, he had some kind of sense of "self-defense" ... anyway, he brought in a can of aerosol air freshener. He, also, put a sign, encouraging others to use the air freshener, right above where the can was placed.
However, his choice of verbage, and syntax was not quite up to the task, with some humorous results.
First, the sign contained the word "poop".
While the word is not vulgar, there is more adult verbage for the same action. If something more adult had been used, then, maybe, the juvenile reactions that resulted from the sign, would not have happened.
Secondly, "If - then" statements are an accepted part of the American version of English. The second sentence in the above paragraph is one. These types of sentences are such a part of our culture, that often the "then" can be left off, and the reader, or listener will, still, have perfect understanding of what is being communicated. The ONE thing that must occur, either written, or implied by a verbal pause, is a comma between the "IF" portion, and the "Then" portion.
My well-meaning co-worker left out the "then" ... and the comma.
So, there was this piece of cardboard, mounted on the wall with tape, in an "odiferous"(to quote Sir Charles Barkley) bathroom, with writing, in black Sharpie, that read:
"If you poop spray."
You can imagine the discussions that this sign inspired.
Some of you know that the oldest of my three dachshunds, Tasselhof, or Tas (pronounce "Tass") had a devastating back injury in 2003. He was in a "doggy-wheel chair", full time, for about 2 years. Things are better, now. The little, old fart is over 14 years now, and my wife and I like to say he is full of "piss and vinegar". (He is curled up, next to me, on the couch, as I write this.)
While the back legs work, sort of, now, the bladder and bowel control has not returned.
Which leads us to today's unfortunate happening.
Something upset Tas' stomach today.
As I put it to Amy, on the phone, Tas had "cross-country diarrhea", today. It started in the middle of the kitchen, through the office area, the den, and into the guest bathroom. Nothing was solid.
It was while I was in the middle of cleaning up the mess (Resolve is my friend), that I realized, with or without the comma, I was dealing with the TRUE results of the words on the sign:
"If you poop spray."
Labels: air freshener, dachshunds, toilet humor
