(Some more from my Dad)

Actually Taken From Classified Ads In Newspapers:


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites
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FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog
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FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog
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FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat .. been out awhile. better be reward.
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COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale
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NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby
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GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
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NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once
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JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300
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FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.