(I'm not sure where my father-in-law finds this stuff)

Two Louisiana alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger 'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. . . I just don't get it. "

"Well, " said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin' boy? "

"Democrats, same as you, " replied the small 'gator.

"Hmm. Well, where do ya catch 'em? "

"Down at 'tother side of the swamp near the parkin' lot by Boudreaux's."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em? "

"Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and waits fer someone to unlock the door. Then I jumps out, grabs 'em on the leg, shake the crap out of 'em, and eats 'em! "

"Ah! " says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment." "See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a Democrat, you ain't got nothin' left but lips and a briefcase."