I just watched "Private Sessions" with Martina McBride. There was an involved conversation about her song "Independence Day" that is about domestic violence.

The conversation brought up a memory that had not come up in a while.

When I was stationed in Panama, I was in charge of a soldier, let's call him "Roger". (For the record, to the best of my recollection, I have never been stationed anywhere with a person named Roger.")

Also, keep in mind that I was in Panama from 1995-1998. The events I am about to relate happened in 1997. President Clinton was in his second term. OJ was old news. The internet had, finally, made it to Panama. Hezbollah had bombed the Khobar Towers the year before.

"Roger" was about 6' tall, and about 190 lbs., a former high school football player. He was married to this little Venzuelan girl that was about 5' nothing. Not only short, but she could have been a model. So, she she weighed next to nothing.

Not too long after they were married and moved into housing on post, "Roger" started showing up to work with "muscle soreness" that our Physical Training sessions couldn't explain.

Then, there was the mysterious intruder on his patio with a machete that he fended off. He showed me the cut on the lower end of his deltoid, supposedly, from the fight.

I knew of some troubles that the couple were having. "Roger" told me that they were going into counseling with a Catholic chaplain. (They were, both, Catholic.)

Then, my commander and First Sergeant were asked to sit in on a counseling session, by the chaplain. In that session, the spouse, the little slip of a girl, came out and said, blatantly, that the way she worked out her stress in life was to beat the crap out of "Roger" whenever she felt like it.

The commander's answer was: " Sergeant 'Smith', you need to work harder on your relationship with your wife."

The First Sergeant's answer was that the soldier (not the spouse) needed to come to church with him (a Protestant), and quit going to Mass.

When I talked to my soldier, he responded: "What can I do?" ... and he broke it down into every possible scenario:

a) He takes her beating, and calls the MP's. Once upon arriving on the scene, the MP's would laugh and leave. The incident get reported to the chain of command, and he, either, becomes a laughingstock at work, or an unconfirmed "wife beater" to his coworkers and chain of command.

b) He defends himself, without hitting her. Just blocking the blows, and trying to stop her. She or the neighbors call the MP's. The MP's take a look at him and her. Draw their own conclusions, he goes to jail, and his career is over.

c) He hits back. She or the neighbors call the MP's. They take him to jail, and his career is over.

d) He takes it, and tries to keep it as quiet as possible. No MP's are involved. He keeps his reputation, and his career.

So, "Roger" chose "d". He didn't have any other choice. And when his chain of command should have backed him up, they blamed him for the problem.

After all, guys abuse women. Not the other way around. No matter what kind of edged weapon the woman has.

Right?