Great Truths That Children Have Learned

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7. Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10. The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

In my experience, all of the above are right, #10, especially.

My last surviving grandparent died this last summer.

My wife and I performed the music, and I gave the eulogy for the only person I considered "Grandpa" in 1999.

I am not looking for sympathy, empathy, or closure. That's not what I need, or want.

I am just looking for the second best place to be sad.

So far, the answer is alone, with a dog in my lap. Which has turned out to be a pretty decent place to be, most of the time.